Friday, July 20, 2007

Matisyahu – a beacon of truth in a world of bull.


An answer to a disturbing article.

Today Shturem.net posted an interview with the world-renowned superstar, and Chassidic Jew, Matisyahu, from the Miami New Times. They also posted Rabbi Levi Brackman’s response. My first thought when I read the article was I wanted to get a flight to bloody England and kick this Rabbi’s … But after checking my paypal account and seeing that a flight to England was totally out of the question I decided to just blog about it.

“This is my journey. My initial ties were through the Lubavitch sect... I went to a Hasidic school for two years in Brooklyn. At this point, I don’t necessarily identify with it any more. I’m really religious, but the more I’m learning about other types of Jews, I don’t want to exclude myself. I felt boxed in.” - Matisyahu.

I have heard Matisyahu talk like this personally and I wasn’t “surprised” and I defiantly did not look at Matis as “breaking off” from Lubavitch when I read this. So why did someone as smart as Rabbi Brackman badmouth and shun Matisyahu publicly? Matisyahu was speaking what he felt in his heart. For some Lubavitchers speaking from your heart is going against the system and Kabalas O’l. I add that to my long list of Lubavitch BS. Matis is a fresh Bal Tshuvah. He jumped into a frum lifestyle so fast he probably never knew what hit him. It’s a miracle that someone who went from soul-searching dreadlock dude, to a fully religious Jew, to a Hollywood star, in a matter of months did not have a serious relapse.

My father became frum years ago. At the time when he was already rocking a beard and black hat he insisted his younger stepbrother, who was not religious, to go to Yeshiva and check it out. He did. He was in Morristown for no longer then a month when he was already wearing a hat, growing his beard and putting on Teffilin. Until one morning he got up, looked at himself in the mirror and proclaimed that he made a mistake. He instantly dropped it all and to this day, over 20 years later, never came back.

Matisyahu on the other hand has been a fully religious Jew for over five years now. He jumped into Chabad because they were the ones who opened their arms to him. They were cool. Their ideas were inspirational. Their Rebbe was supernatural. For a soul seeking Jewish student I can see were he might of got turned on. Now, five years later, he sees the full picture. Power. Politics. Money. And a whole lot of Chassidish BS to go along with it. Its not hard for me to understand why he feels “boxed in”. There are many other Jewish sects. Yes, for me as a devout Lubavitcher from birth, I believe that Chabad is the ultimate. But for Matisyahu, a Bal Tshuvah who went from Hadar Hatorah in Crown Heights to the red carpet in Hollywood, its not as black and white.

To me Matisyahu is a Shliach. Hell, a head Shliach, just without the politics. I have spoken to countless amounts of people who have actually changed their lives for the better after hearing Matisyahu sing. Online I have seen Matisyahu related content on facebook, my space and forums all over the web with topics ranging from “I was going to kill myself until I heard Matisyahu”, to “I want to bring Moshiach after hearing Matisyahu sing.”

What is the Rebbe doing? The Rebbe is promoting concepts of Goodness and Kindness, of Moshiach, to the entire world. Not just Jews. Not just America. The Rebbe has reached his holy hand around the entire world and rekindled a light of goodness that billions of souls were yearning for. TV, Radio, Billboards. The Rebbe had the greatest marketing campaign since coke-a-cola. Now Chabad is everywhere.

Thousands of American youth, Jewish and gentile, flock to concerts every day. The music industry is so large and so full of crap it’s impossible not to see it in our day-to-day life’s. Now to me a Jewish man, not a Lubavitcher lets say, but a fully religious orthodox Jew, gets on MTV and tells the world the message of the Lubavitcher Rebbe, that’s enough for me to be a fan of the man. To see a-hundred-thousand people wait for the concert to start because there are not three stars in the sky yet, to me is a sign of Moshiach. To hear a crowd of Jews and non-Jews screaming at the top of their lungs they want Moshiach now, and understand what they are saying because the singer on stage just told them a Chassidic story and explained what the world would be like with Moshaich, is unreal. And as I stood there at his concert and listened as he sang Tzama Lcha Nafshi and translated each word to the crowd of twelve thousand people, my heart was filled with respect for the man standing on stage, swaying back and forth, singing a Niggun of the Rebbe with such feeling that I had never seen at Farbrengens with top Mashpias. To me that man is something special. Lubavitch. Not Lubavitch. I don’t give a crap. He is bringing Moshiach. And that’s all that matters.

Now to argue Rabbi Brackman, he states: “Over the last year as his career has progressed I have grown more and more wary of Matisyahu, his music and his public statements. His lyrics no longer really reflect deep Jewish spirituality and his behavior on stage is becoming increasingly secular. Now that he has publicly distanced himself from Chabad/Lubavitch I am admitting that I was wrong to ever promote Matisyahu. It is my hope that he keeps his faith and does not go off the deep end and thus take others with him.”

First off, I don’t see how his lyrics have lost their Jewish spirituality. Actually I think they still have them, he just added a lot more practical ones also.

“Fear nobody but his majesty
My spirit you’ve retrieved
For you I wait silently
It seems that you believe in me” – Indestructible

“Rebuild the temple and the crown of glory
Years gone by, about sixty
Burned in the oven in this century
And the gas tried to choke, but it couldn’t choke me” – Jerusalem

“Half the truth is just a lie, they rub me the wrong way, they say their way or fall behind. Seven subjects disconnect, left out the concept as to why there's a spiritual emptiness, so the youth them get vexed, skip class and get wrecked fill with beer and cigarettes to fill the hole in their chest.
Young man, control in your hand
Slam your fist on the table and make your demand
Take a stand
Fan a fire for the flame of the youth
Got the freedom to choose
You better make the right move.” – Youth

“And his behavior on stage is becoming increasingly secular.”

What the hell are you talking about??? When Matis first started, and you loved him, he was doing stage dives into mixed crowds. Now when someone corrected him, he no longer stage dives, instead he has other shtick that he pulls. Dancing with kids in a circle. Doing a Chassidish dance with a hat and jacket buchor. Climbing on top of speakers. No, but your right totally secular. (Extreme sarcasm.) And you say that you were wrong to ever promote him. Why? If you thought he was good then and doing good things then why do you regret it? For all you know one of those kids in your school heard “King without a crown” got inspired, and Davened with extra kavanah that day. You regret that? Or maybe one of them logged onto youtube and instead of looking at clips of who knows what he watched Matisyahu say Havdallah in front of thirty thousand people. Hmmm.

There is a famous story of a buchor who complained about going on Mivtzoim and nothing happened. The Rebbe said, that by him walking in his hat and jacket down the street, an old woman looking out her window could have been helped. For how may years did Matisyahu perform with his hat and jacket? Hell, as he stood on the red carpet surrounded by garbage he was proudly wearing his hat and custom made kapatoeh. The effect Matisyahu had and has on the youth of America is obviously something you will never comprehend.

“However, for now I see him on the same level as I would see any other secular Jewish singer–a good Jew with secular music which in no way promotes my faith and, as a Chasidic Jew, not music I want in my house or my kids listening to.”

You know your right. Bob Dylan and Matisyahu are pretty much the same. One barely licked the edge of Torah his entire life, and one says Chitas and Davens every day, but no, your right he is like every other secular Jewish singer. Matisyahu is not made for your little kids in your house, and I hope you don’t have a problem with your teenage ones listening to him because that’s just… odd. You don’t want Matisyahu in your house because you have some perverted ideas about him fine, but to publicly badmouth him to the entire Lubavitchh? I think you need to ask yourself who is the good Jew in this situation. No disrespect intended.

24 comments:

Yossi said...

Shturem.net removed Levi Brackmans article from their website and posted mine in defense of Matisyahu.

Anonymous said...

how can we see the original article?

I think you make some very good points, but just remember there were many in Lubavitch who were saying be wary of Matisyahu from day one. For all the good he brings he also brings a wave of bad. He is great for the fry crowd but devastatingly bad for the frum kids in our community that are straying or on the fence or having spiritual difficulties. It's an invitation to a very bad lifestyle of clubs, bars and goyish music.

Yossi said...

The original article has been removed from Shturem.net but yo can still see the Miami New Times interview at http://blogs.miaminewtimes.com/crossfade/2007/07/matisyahu_preview.php

I disagree that Matis is bad for the frum community. Yes, if someone has a kid who thinks in the sense of "If he can go to a bar and still be good why cant i?"... Obviously that is a very stupid way of thinking, but kids are kids i guess. On the other hand this same kid who is "straying" will probably end up telling himself bars are ok without the help of Matisyahu... or the kid can be thinking "He walks up on stage and tells thousands of people a Chassidic story... thats me!" Matisyahu in my opinion can and does have a bigger effect on Lubavitch youth, or Frum youth, showing them to be proud Jews.

Anonymous said...

Levi brackman is a loser!

Here is the article.

http://www.levibrackman.com/cms/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=64

Chaim said...

That first anonymous was me, sorry I wasn't signed in and forgot to sign it.

In response to your response I would just say that Matisyahu glorifies the bar/club going experience. Kids say that if this "frum" guy goes then they can go too. Sure most of these kids might end up at that point eventually ... or they won't. It's not for us to decide, but Matisyahu becomes a conduit for them to reach a decision quicker.

He says in that interview that he will just sit and listen to Jay Z and sip wine. That's very grub and not something any frum kid should aspire to.

Thats not good. I think he has DONE a lot of good. But like I said, for the non frum community and the goyish world. For the FRUM community he is a walking disaster.

Matisyahu's attitude and tone in many of the interviews I've seen him give is that he is too cool for school. Like he is above being Lubavitch or frum. He isn't frum or lubavitch he's "Matisyahu", I just think he's a loner and for him to have the outlook he does about being from is not a safe or sensible position for other on the fence kids to see.

Nemo said...

I'm sorry, I have to agree with Levi Brackman and Chiam about this.

Also, I have trouble believing that people are becoming better Jews or Chassidim of the Rebbe or whatever degree of betterness from Mattisyahu. Read your own article, which, in my opinion, is the best defense that Mattisyahu has out there. You keep making saying that people come to HIS concerts and they're becoming HIS fans and that HE gets people to sing Tzama Lecho Nafshi. To me, it looks like he is building himself and his image, and doing it with a bit of Chassidic rhyme. He's making people into his own Chassidim.

I don't think that everyone with Shtick is doing Shlichus. Invoking the Rebbe's name in a room full of delirious Goyim, hopped up on who knows what, to shout about how spiritual they feel was never the Rebbe's goal in sending out Shluchim. The Rebbe wanted deeds, action, Mitzvos to bring Moshiach, he didn't want alcohol induced raucous. I don't think he encouraged screaming louder than any Farbrengen ever could and then going home and engaging in the worst corporal sin. Bringing otherwise good Bochurim to and Lubavitch girls to mosh together in bars under the guise of "Chassidus" and "Moshiach" definitely wasn't his intention. The concept is anathema to anything the Rebbe really believed.

I never liked Mattisyahu. Maybe it was the music that didn't do it for me. Or maybe it was because I went to his concert on Simchas Beis at Beis Rivka and I saw the ill affects that it had on Lubavitch youth. I remember fifteen year old kids in the front row jumping up and down and headbanging. I remember some chick that put on pants and a heavy sweatshirt, disguising herself as a boy, trying to get into the concert. I knew it was trouble from the start.

Don't get me wrong here. I understand Matisyahu as a person and I'm all for him doing his thing. He's got a family to support and he has a talent to do that. Good on him. But I'm sorry, that's not Shlichus.

I'll admit that the music did have it Maaylos. When I worked with non-Frum teenagers we made a bit of a Mivtza out of pushing Matisyahu. It was cool for the kids to see some "rabbi" getting up on stage and rocking it out. But one thing I can say for sure {almost for certain} is that no one gained much out of the music itself. The experience is amazing, but the lyrics were so foreign to anyone who's not already engaged in Chassidus.... And even then it needs a bit of unraveling.

I don't think his efforts have made such a measurable affect, besides showing that "we can do it to."

Yossi said...

First off nice blog.

Now i have argued in defense of Matisyahu with way to many people this past week and i will continue to argue until someone point me out a Lubavicth teen and says "this guy had gone down in his Yiddishkeit due to Matisyahu." Until someone can say that to me i still - strongly - believe that Matisyahu is not only good for the non frum crowd but probably even better for the racy teenage lubavitch crowd. Which sadly to say is rather large nowadays and a lot of Lubavitch ignores them while someone like Matisyahu gives them something to hold on to.

About your "He" argument thats just dumb. Obviously its about him. He is singing. He is writing his lyrics. Who is it supposed to be about? If not for the Rebbe how many BT's would have happened? You think they fell in love with Tanya and that was it? They saw the Rebbe. Reality. They loved him and that is why Lubavitch is so strong. Its about him. Matisyahu making people into Chassidim? If thats what you call fans then yes, correct. He just sings though. No 10 hour farbrengens and i don't think he published any torah books yet...

Plus Matisyahu has asked many times that Buchorim and Lubavitch girls should please NOT come to his concerts in clubs and bars... That is why he specifically went out of his way to make a concert in CH. And those boys you saw dancing... they obviously saw matis on stage and started acting grub right? Normally they are probably quiet oley torahnicks... its sick how were issues in our Community and our Lubavitch youth and blaming them in a sense on Matis. oh and the girl trying to get in with pats... obviously a top student in her class in Beis Rivkah who says rambam every day but the idea of a Matisyahu concert was to much to bare not going to so whe put on pants... Come'on. Thats such bull. People are the way they are. Some teens are not Chassidish. We cant blame that on Matisyahu, because believe me these same teens that are "influenced" by matis, listen to all the other shist out there...

On a personal note - and i have thanked matis personally for this - i had major taivos for non-jewish music and was in a Luabvitch school where it was playing in every room... i delved into Matisyahu and became a hardcore fan and to this day - 3 years later - I have never had the Taivo to listen to non-jewish music.

Now that i can honestly say was his influence.

Nemo said...

My blog has seen better days...

Anyway, no one is blaming Matisyahu for all the problems that Lubavitch teens have, the problem is that the stimulus of someone who is "Chassidish" and straddling both worlds gives a tacit rubber stamp to all sorts of behaviors and an attitude which come with the music. I don't think the argument of HE is very far off, I think that in a very real sense- for Lubavitch teens- people want to be like Matis. Every kid now sees that you can do both; you can have your Shtick, be super famous, live in a world of total crap, and still call yourself a Chossid.

In and of itself, I would say that there's nothing wrong with that. Aderaba, maybe Matisyahu is the paradigm of a Chossid. But the attitude which it welcomes is totally not what Chabad Chassidus is all about. It's like non-Jewish music; I would venture to say {maybe I'm wrong} that there is nothing wrong with it itself {save for the 3 Klippos doctrine and all the negative content}, but that attitude it inevitably brings into some, if not all of its listeners. Maybe one guy can hack listening and Avodas Hashem, but the significant majority cannot. When you blur the lines between the two worlds, you're inevitably doing yourself the disservice of saying music and Avodas Hashem can be congruent.

I don't blame Matisyahu for inviting Lubavitch kids to his concerts, but I don't forgive him for their coming because he made it accessible and right. He blurred a line and opened new channels which may no longer be repairable. He benignly taught Lubavitch kids {not the good ones, the "bad" ones...} that spirituality should be found in places other than the Shul and the books... a spirituality that is dubitable at best.

Nemo said...

Oh, and yes, there are plenty of good Lubavitch kids out there {I can link you to a bunch of blogs if you don't believe me} that have never been to a concert in their life that I've heard raving about going to a Matisyahu concert. We can debate and debate about whether there's anything wrong with that, but one thing that I'm sure you'll agree on is that it's a stimulus. The live exposure that they have there from the stuff that goes on off the stage in undeniably stifling for Chassidic growth.

Matisyahu is not all about the music for Lubavitch kids. He has Lubavitch groupies, guys that travel around to his concerts all over. These people cleave to him for the experience of rocking themselves out, not for getting closer to Hashem.

Also, I know of one case were Bochurim made a huge Chilul Hashem by going to his concert in the three weeks. The local Jewish newspaper in the town publicized that it was unfortunate that Orthodox Jews wouldn't be able to see his concert and then this whole group of "Frum" Bochurim turned up at the concert which was in some pub.

Chaya Esther/Heidi said...

Interesting discussion. Good points on all sides. From my perpspective as a parent of teens, I can say that i know many chabad kids who have an attraction to non-Jewish music and the social and cultural things that go together with that. Mattyisyahu didn't contribute to their pull to "the other side", but he does provide a place where they can get what they are looking for without going off the reservation completely.

Kids that are not pulled to that stuff are, generally speaking, not going to get influenced to go off by Mattisyahu. But he is a living example to many who feel pulled to sex-drugs-rock-and-roll-whatever, of how they can be who -- for good or bad--they want to be and are determined to be -- and let's face it, we can't stop them for being --and still be frum, and feel good about haviang hiskashrus to the Rebbe etc.

Notwithstanding the fact the these kids are not so homongenous and there is a spectrum, Mattisyahu helps many of them them to find a way to be both frum and cool, which is preferable to them dropping the desire to be connected at all to their yiddishkeit in favor of moving further and further away in search of place where they feel they can be who they want to be.

Anyways, it's hard to imagine that thousands of people, jewish and non-jewish, frum and not frum, listening to music about G-d, moshiach, holiness, etc could be bad.

The Torah, and G-d and the Rebbe, are bigger than the limited perspective that things that don't fit exactly into what amounts to an artificial box are pas nisht.

Thats it for now. over and out.

Razy said...

I think you're just focusing on one thing,if he has a positive or negative effect over the youngsters of today.With everything good there's a bad side,and vice versa.In everything with the possibility to be bad for you and hurt you physically or mentally,there's an equal amount that can be used to positive things.

Same thing with Matis,it's not about his music,but the way you channel it. Do it the wrong way,and it can harm you mentally,but channeled on a good way,it can help you very much,like becoming stronger spiritually and for Jewish kids developing a stronger Jewish identity.

Anonymous said...

Yossi -- I don't see contact info on your blog, but would like to interview you for The New York Jewish Week. Please email me: dncjewishweek@optonline.net with your contact info. I'll need to speak with you early Tuesday....easy fast. Thanks. -Debra Nussbaum Cohen

Anonymous said...

Since you clearly have not been to a Matisyahu concert in a LONG time, he has not worn his hat and jacket on stage in over a year. And he almost NEVER mentiones Chsidus and has not emtioned the Rebbe or Lubavitch in about two years. You can go check the shows on Archive.org and see when was the last time he said a word about chassidus.

Those lyrics from Youth are not Jewish. They are simply about a bunch of pissed off kids in school. There is nothing in Torah that talks about kids taking subjects and getting nothing from it and rinking beer and cigarrets!

And I'm posting as someone who was a massive fan, but does not listen much to any of his music and no longer shares any of his achievments with my children.

Yossi said...

Since you clearly have not read my blog you would notice that i was just at a concert a few weeks ago. He DID wear a hat and jacket on stage (small black hat and off blue jacket) and he DID speak words of Chassidus. Instead of using archive maybe become a member of his website and then you can not only hear all of his latest concerts but also see the dvar torahs he posts and random ideas of Chassidus.

You know what? The more people argue with me over matisyahu the more i see that the ones arguing all seem to be older with kids... obviously you don't like the song "youth" because you don't find yourself wanting or needing "beer and cigarettes" but you dont like the song because you know very well that as soon as your kids are teens they are going to find themselves in that situation and they are "going to have to make the right move"! At least someone is encouraging them.

Oh and just a side note: Matis had someone go into the crowd before and after his concert to find 10 jews to make a minyan for mincha and mairav. I davened Maierv when Matis was Chazzan a few weeks ago. (he had a black hat jacket and gartel) before we davened we had a 15 minute rambam shuir from the local shliach...

Nemo said...

I'm 21 mate.

And no one is criticizing the person Matisyahu Miller, he's a very fine Jew. No one doubts that he learns and looks for Minyanim and Davens with a hat and jacket...

People are criticizing the image that he has created and some of the irresponsible things that he has been saying recently.

Chaim said...

What about if Chas V'Sholom he starts doing Halachickly quiestioble things.

Will the same people defending him now continue to defend him?

Lets say he starts dancing with women, or playing a concert on a Friday night that goes a little late into Shabbos.

Till what point will you follow him? I think he has been pushing the line further and further the last 3 years. Yet we keep making excuses for him. Keep defending him. Keep trying to explain how the good he does outweighs any bad.

But at some point don't we all just have to admit to ourselves when the truth is punching us in the face?

Think carefully about this. Don't just speak from knowing a lot of Frum Lubavitch "bad" teens. and feeling their very real pain.

I'm chosing to jump ship before I have to explain why it's ok that he played on a friday night for twenty minutes past candle lighting.

"You see he let go of the microphone. It was the concert hall microphones that picked his voice up the last 20 min .. "

Check the times of some of these summer shows. They are dangerously close to shkiah on Fridays.

Read some of the recent concert reviews. The pure filth that transpires at these rock concerts is enough to kill every last bit of your g-dly soul.

I defended him for three years, very passionately might I add. But I'm no longer able to do that. I'm looking to the future. I'm afraid of the path he ***MAY*** end up on. I have to safeguard myself and my kids.

I like the guy, but I'm not gonna get taken down with him if things get worse.

Y-Love said...

We are totally on the same page. You get nothing but love for this post -- see how I quoted you on This is Babylon.

Mimi said...

Right on.

www.livefromthehilltop.com

Anonymous said...

hey nemo!

davens with hat and jacket?

nope he does not.

sorry dude, i see him in 770 all the time, but he does daven with a minyan but not with hat and jacket, 98% in 770 does daven with hat and jacket.

just remember: mekarvan latorah, and not the other way around...

yosi from crown heights said...

Levi B's actions speak lauder then any words here, they speak lauder then i can say her.

untill matisyahu was kosher, his lyrics his music, were great, amazing, the best thing that ever happened to chabad. now, that he admits, that he longer identifies himself as a lubavitcher, so now, even music was never okay. so hypocratical....!!!!!!!!!


but very much like chabad.

but at least you'r intellectually honest, and i appreciate, that.

but ofcourse, for most lubavitchers leaving chabad, is akin to shmad (converting) so.. let them all drop dead ad far as i care.

i promise you, that if matisyahu, was still identifying himself with chabad, levi Brackman, emach shmo v'zechro, wouldn't have a problem with AT ALL.

this is so hypocritical.

so why did matisyahu leave?

i don't know, maybe because he's gotten but crap from the lubavitch community (rabbi's) saying something tro theffect of or like,his music, is nor far de goyim, (his music for the non-jews) or, ich farshtei nisht kein vort er ret, unn hut shvartzes in zein videoz (i don't undertand one word he talks, and he has shvartzes (derogatory term for blacks) in his videos)

maybe?

maybe, because he came across those racist parts in the tanya, and found distasteful..

maybe?

who knows?

but i think i have a pretty good idea

lets this be just the begining.

Nemo said...

Yosi honey,

I would encourage you to see the "racist" statements that the earlier Jewish books have to offer before specifically going crazy on Tanya...

Anonymous said...

i have alot of problems with levi b.'s article, BUT i dnt hink thats a reason for saying about another jew "yemach shmo vezichro". maybe you dont understand what you said but "yemach shmo vezichro" means "may his name and memorie be erased". something def. not appropiatte about a jew. im shocked no one commented earlier! (escpecially since you were alll quik to comment on this article)

netonian said...

WOW ,WOW ,WOW !!

this article was absolutely incredible,unbelievabley,TRUE!

ur point is mad right!


and 2 all u ppl out there go look @ urselves b4 u look @ others.
lyk the baal shem tov sed,uve got the problem inside u if u see it in him.


im not sure if uve ever met him ,but this dude is 1 of the most humble person on earth,and hes got millions of fans,

u guys got a few friends,maybe a few ppl who look up 2 u,ure all so arrigant ,unbelievable!

may G-D bless us that ppl wil learn 2 see the good in evry person (jew)

Anonymous said...

As heart broken as I am about Matisyahu off the Lubavitch derech, I have to remind all these Crown Heights FFB's that Matisyahu is not responsible for your teenagers falling off the derech! You need to stop finding sources to blame, while you live in a glass bubble. If it's not his music, they will find some other vice to hold onto. They are curious, other kids are doing things, they want to learn, they want to know. What's happeneing to our teenagers is the baseless hatred we teach at home, without realizing how much Loshon Hora we preach in the comfort of our living rooms.... about what everyone else is doing. It hurts our kids, it hurts their neshamas, and they go out and question. That neighbor is not frum enough, that other one does that differently, and on and on. Children are affected by what they see at home, and yet we continue to blame others, like Matisyahu, who couldn't take the heat. Yes, his yetzer hara was probably tickled in the spotlight, but if you're upset with his "publicly" leaving Lubavitch, you should have been more accepting of him in the first place. You cannot prevent your teenagers from everything, but you can love them, and teach them the most important message of all "Love each and every Jew, while you remain strong." Parents standing united, and loving, is what will bring the redemption. Give love to your kids, no matter what. It's just a phase, in the spirit of galus, the only way to bring them back is with love and acceptance.